Let me tell you for 20 something years. I never cussed nor had a desire. After my divorce and hanging around fellow cussing friends. I noticed I would cuss here and there. All the sudden I had a trucker potty mouth. Some think its cool to cuss and be a in your face, take me as I am, type of person. And if you don’t like it? Well, sweetie! There is the door. lol :) Trust me, I get it ! However, hear me out when you are living a conscious life that mentality does not serve you. First of all its not cool to be up in someone’s face Second you can be yourself. However, you also live around others and what you say has a negative or positive affect on the planet. As a conscious human being. We should make a every effort to care about others too. Not just ourselves.
I knew when I had to stop it. One time, I unconsciously cussed in front of this kid at the bank and the mom yelled at me. I apologiesed and felt so bad. In retrospect, I am glad she yelled at me. It woke me up to become more conscious and aware about how I was showing up in the world and acting. We are here to help heal the world and make it a better place. How we talk, act affect and influences everyone as a whole on the planet. My lastet article you can read here. I talk about the lost art of kindness and give some helpful tips that helped me and can help you live more conscious and mindful. I think the fact that I am recovering P.M made me more compassionate instead of judgmental regarding it. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like cussing and being around it. It’s a part of me I dislike so I naturally project a dislike towards it. I am just more gentle with myself and others regarding it. A lot of people resist change and will come up with all sorts of excuses like” That is not me” or ” Its boring ” or I am rebel and take it or leave it or It’s no fun. Be yourself and be conscious too. When you focus on being kind all the others stuff and resistance starts to fade away.
“Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.” ~ Rumi
After the bank incident. I remember asking God to help me stop cussing. It didn’t happen over night. Its hard to control the cussing once you become a potty mouth. I felt like such a fake at times because I was hiding this dirty little cussing shadow. I was teaching love, gentleness and kindness and cussing too. It didn’t feel right! It was not serving planet nor myself. Then about 3 years ago, I said enough! I got serious with myself and said I am going to stop. I didn’t cuss for 20 something years and I can do it again. Slowly, I started to change back to the old me. My boyfriend helped too he does not cuss at all. I love that about him. I soon realized once I started to kick the cussing. I didn’t want to go back to it. So now, I watch myself carefully. I still slip up every once in a while like, when I bang my toe or something. However, when I make a mistake I don’t beat myself up. I quickly ask for forgiveness and quickly align with love. I notice it happens less and less. I love that!
Here are a few B’s to help you with your language.
We are starting a 30 day no cussing challenge on facebook Here feel free to join us. We would love to hear from you. Feel free to share your stories and comments below. Do you have any good advice on how to quite cussing? If so, share it with us. Oh yeah and I found this cool website where they practice mindful and conscious conversation too. They have a no cussing club to help you cut the cussing out of your life and I encourage you to check them out. A young boy started it and we think he is pretty cool. Right here. They say out of the mouths of babes. They have over 22,000 friend taking the challenge!
Have you ever been in a grocery store, bank line or doctors office and notice how people can be so unkind or short tampered. Have you ever had a bad experience with a unkind person? I know I have. A lot of my clients come to me for personal growth work and share deep experiences with me in order to heal themselves and move forward. I will never forget the story one of my clients shared with me. She said she was at a grocery store getting her groceries for the week with her 3 young boys. In fact she said their were lots of families at the grocery store that day. At the front of the grocery store line was a women in her mid to late 20′s. Just cussing up a storm with her friend. I mean she was dropping F Bombs, S bombs you name it. There were small children all around her and she didn’t even seem to notice or care. My client asked the young women not to use that particular language in front of her boys and cautioned her that their were lots of small children around her. My client said the young girl seem annoyed that anyone would take offense to her language and gave her a not so nice comment under her breath.
My client asked me what is wrong with our society ? Why are so many forgetting the lost art of kindness in their action and speech? When did it start to be cool to cuss and be so belligerent , vulgar in our speech, actions and mannerisms? What happened to the art of kindness, gentleness in speech and in actions ?
I had another client who was in her late 60′s. She was at the doctors office and her hip was hurting her really bad. So badly she could hardly stand. The doctor’s office was full of people that day most of them younger than her. She said not one peson offered to give up their seat to her. For fear of falling in pain on the floor she asked the receptionist if there was a empty room she could sit and wait in and explained how she was in pain. The receptionist quickly gave her a room. Where was the kindness you might ask? In everyone who saw her struggling to stand and breathing heavy in pain?
Some may blame it on television, the music, society, lack of proper upbringing. I tend to think its becuase many people are living their life unconscious. I know I have been guilty in the past. You can read my story here. Every thing we say, act, and do affects others in a positive or negative way. Our behavior is important. Loving kindness matters and makes all the difference. I believe we can speak our truth and live it and still be mindful of others. I love this quote by Irwin Federman
“People love others not for who they are but for how they make them feel.”
Here are a few helpful tips to become more consciously mindful.
- Before you speak, act or do ask yourself these questions. Is what I am about to say, do, act something that would uplift, benefit, encourage, be kind, helpful to others? If its not! Ditch it! Wait until you have calmed down and processed your emotions and feelings and then speak, act, do.
- Stay present in the moment. When we get ahead of ourselves or live in the past or we start living on autopilot or in reactionary mode we tend to become unconscious. Always remember things will happen to us in life and 99 % of the time the positive or negative outcome is determined by how we react to it.
- Look for ways to be kind and helpful : Consciously look for ways to be a blessing to someone. Listen to the still small voice of love in your soul. Some may call it intuition, God, voice of love, higher self. whichever feels right for you practice listening. Let me tell you there are many opportunities all around you everyday to be a blessing and to help someone. Practice being mindful of it. When I practice mindful kindness. I get spiritual hits all the time. Some days I feel compelled to call someone and encourage them or to send them a gift so they know how much they are loved and appreciated. God shows me all kinds of ways to be kind. Sometimes I feel to smile at someone or tell them how nice they look. Mindful, conscious kindness goes a long way. Think of the times someone has been kind to you. How did it make you feel?
- Pray before you go anywhere: Here is a prayer I like to say in the morning. Dear God, help me be a vessel of love, honor and kindess. lead me where you would have me go today and say what you would have me say and to whom. Then let God use you!
- Don’t self sabotage: Our behavior in life is so critical to our success in life and to successful outcomes. Dont’ allow your stubborness , pride, selfishness, control and hardheadedness sabotage you from donig the right thing and becoming the person you want to truely become. You can spend a life time building a life of trust, goodness and integrity and one big or several bad choices can tare it all down. I once knew a women who lived her whole life being honest, kind and a loving good mother. She made a really bad choice and embezzled money from a school fund she was trusted with and of course it ruined her reputation. Now when people bring up her name its associated with the embezzlement charges filed against her. Instead of the life time of kindness, generosity, trust she once held.
- Who are you listening to and hanging around? : Who you hang around matters. Birds of a feather flock together. If you want to be a loving, kind person. Make sure you hang around loving and kind people. Hang around people who hold space for your pursuit in excellence of character. The women who embezzled money didn’t do it alone she acted with a trusted friend. The friend showed her how to do it and” get away with it”. There is no getting away with anything in life. Some call it karma, cause and effect, sin. Whatever you do to others in life comes back and is done to you. Hang around positive role models with morals, integrity and loving kindness.